Saturday, May 25, 2019

Amusing Florda Traffic

Many cities have a certain reputation about their traffic. People who live in LA, for instance, have become used to the constant jam that can only sometimes pass for traffic. In Florida, two things seem to be going on. First, we have the very conservative older drivers who clog the lanes they happen to be in and are known for swerves and lane ambiguity. We will call these the honkees.
Image result for florida traffic

Then there are the overly aggressive drivers that Florida has somehow bred. I don’t know who these people are, but I do know how they drive. They do not sit in traffic lines, but will cut in at the last moment. They swerve in and out of traffic, disregarding the commonly held speed limit of 10 mph over whatever is posted. They drive either really expensive cars or really ratty cars. No minivans. We will call them the honkers since they will rush up on slow pokes or even regular pokes and urge them out of the way.

Between the honkees and the honkers, driving in Florida is exciting! These issues seem to get more interesting the farther south one goes, but I could be imagining that. The excitement increases as you get off the super highways onto the two-lane wonders that cross the state. It is on these bucholic delights that honkers will pass honkees any time they feel so moved no matter what the silly yellow lines in the middle of the road suggest. You may be driving along, minding your own navigational business, only to face an oncoming BMW heading right at you at 80 mph. No worries. They probably have calculated their passing correctly. Who needs Disney World for excitement? Just drive around!

There may be some deep existential truth that this traffic situation holds for the contemporary human condition, but after driving about in Florida for a bit, I’m too shaken to figure it out.