Hello Neighbors!
In a misguided attempt to address the issues of retirement in the particular way I think they need to be addressed, I have started an advice column! You have read how complex the issues are and how the interplay of the variables beg for a case-by-case approach. You have read how I will be starting a little group for this very purpose, but not everyone is willing to sit in a small room and let other people tell them what to do. So, I thought I would start a little place to talk about individual situations. Now especially in the beginning, these situations may or may not be fabricated, so don't go trying to figure out who wrote in.
Dear Uncle Bill,
I hear that once I retire, I will be playing shuffleboard and bridge alot. I have had no interest in these things heretofore since I have been the Ambassador to France and have been a bit busy. Should I learn these frivolities before I retire? - Not a Player
Dear Not,
While it is always wise to prepare for situations that we face in life, retirement is a situation in which we have more control over our schedule, so why would you do things then that you don't do now? Have you always had a secret desire to play shuffleboard? I suspect not. Do you spend much time with people who play bridge compulsively? Please say no. The things that bring you joy in retirement will probably look like some of the things that bring you joy now. Can you imagine doing those things more without getting arrested? You could take a shuffleboard seminar (Do these exist?) to see if you like the thing, but there is no reason to suspect that your attitudes, aptitudes, and appetites will change dramatically.
*****
Dear Uncle Bill,
I'm 34 and worried that the world will be a wreck when I retire. The climate will be in chaos and we will continue to elect lying, greedy people until democracy tanks. I'm sure I'm going to contract some dread disease and not be in any condition to enjoy my golden years. What should I do? - Nervous in Nashville
Dear Nervous,
All that stuff may happen. Who knows? I do know that you sound pretty miserable right now worrying about it. Many spiritual leaders have suggested that anxiety and worry are bad things and that you should let them go right now, but what did they know? They were usually on a first name basis with God and we can barely remember 5 commandments. Just because worrying doesn't help doesn't mean you can turn it off with a quick aphorism or I would have given that to you in the first sentence. Worry is a worn and painful little path in our head we travel out of habit. Like any habit, habits of thought are tough to break. Like smoking, though, we may want to admit that the enterprise is killing us. Treat worry like an addiction and see how that works. Admit that you are currently powerless over the worry. Understand that there are forces that can help and heal. Decide and do the things that have been proven to help. This is not to say that there aren't issues about your future and our future that need to be addressed, only that, for the moment, your current worrying is more important.